Frightened Rabbit have been the soundtrack to a lot of my life for the past year and this song – and video – seem more than appropriate for this total downer of a post.
I said I was going to do a thing about loss and it’s true, many significant people have fallen out of my life over the last two years. First my friend Melissa, then Gregory, and finally in December Tom’s dad and my last boyfriend in Dallas, Joel.
I guess this is what happens when you start getting older but for all of them it was too soon. Of course, I say too soon believing there’s not really any such thing.
I feel profound sadness at the loss of strangers… I think many of us do. Whether it’s because we can empathize or sympathize, whether you can try to salve the hurt with thoughts of heaven or not, I know a large part of it (for me, anyway) is the thought of the loneliness of those left behind.
I cannot bear the thought of people in the lonely place no matter how they may have conspired to end up there. I’m sure it’s because I feel that way a lot of the time, and I think you’re either born with it or not because I’ve definitely built a life full of good people. But for some reason it doesn’t keep the feeling at bay. Of course, when it comes to wallowing I am quite a champion. I have a trophy and everything.
I wish I could tell people I see solo at restaurants, sitting at airports, those people with the sad eyes… that I feel for them. But I’m too shy. They would probably just think I’m full of crazy, anyway.
The tragedy in Tucson has been weighing heavily on me for so many reasons. However, that’s not fodder for the loneliness post. That is fodder for the “What the fuck is your problem, Sarah Palin?” post. Except I don’t really want to write that one because I’m overly tired of all the “You’re stupid. No, you’re stupid.” rhetoric in this country. Aren’t we better than this? I really don’t know the answer to that question.
I’m gonna go full hippie and just say that from the lonelys to the Sarah Palins of the world, what we all need is more love and regular glimpses into how we really are interconnected.
I promise I will post some really goofy shit tomorrow… Like this:
Also, can I just say I love having my own blog now because I can swear all the time. I am so mature.